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Cape Gazette
Lewes, Delaware
Jim's Towing Service
February 3, 1995     Cape Gazette
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February 3, 1995

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CAPE G_ Friday, Feb 3 Febary 9, t995.- 39, The pack out was tiresome and treacherous Continued from page 38 blobs of compressed and freeze-dried spaghetti and meat sauce or ham omelettes, potatoes au rotten grautin and corned beef hash which come complete with tabasco sauce, chicldets, wet naps and toilet tissue. In Somalia the Marines couldn't give the stuff away. Meals were cluttered with boiling water and mess kits reminding me of lunch with Lucy and Ricky Arnez. Bodily functions performed in private in a 15 degree snow- storm are, in a word, disgusting. "Is a bear Catholic? Does the Pope.,"-Deepdods.. bathroom humor. Sweet dreams and wet naps. Talk around the campfire at night was not so much about women as it was about the waxing moon and waning masculinity. There were Cub Scout and Webelos jokes and of course the required Blazing Saddles orchestra which sounds a lot like Dueling Oboes. I'm sure humor begins the same way in a maximum security prison. Tent sleeping under severe arctic condi- tions separates the men from the boys and hopefully the men from the men. Know what I mean, Veto? I find wearing a ski hat while sleeping inside a canvas igloo nQt even a little bit fun. My tert mates.snored or _mooched around (except Ellsworth who's an alien from Ashtabula) while I shined a flashlight inside my sleeping bag checking the time. Once I did fall asleep and later woke everyone up with a rapid breathing sublimi- nal anxiety attack dream. Captain McCann, snug inside a mummy bag with just a small window for his eyes, awoke in a claustrophobic fit and punched his way clear of his bag. The "pack out" on Sunday morning along a poorly blazed primitive trail was tiresome and treacherous. Six midlifers and one rent- ed mid-wifer --just kidding-- slugged three miles uphill over t,100 feet of eleva- tion crossing, the river nine times while car- trying 80 pound packs on their backs balanc- ing the shifting loads with homemade walk- ing sticks. "Watch that rock, it's slippery," said Donald McCann minutes before I almost bought my lunch without paying for it. I elected to slither over the rock resembling the world's biggest lizard this side of the Komodo Dragon, or is that the Comodo Dragon -- more camp humor. The Ap- palachian Trail is for woossies (an Ellsworth assessmen0 compared to winter off road mountain hiking, where a slip of the foot and a crack of the head could have you in front of the TV watching the Super- bowl and swearing it's entertaining,. _ - S msyiv" al living brings out the "wild" in a civilized man. You can see it in the eyes of the fed-and-kept upon re-entry. They are warm and they are weak. But do they sell beer? Our group had a religious experience for the first Sunday in twenty years. Good kharma and bad mantras. Life in the wilderness. Lewes polar bears took their first jump in 1985 Continued'from page 38 Bears are kind of a Phantom Pride The original five jumpers all "beared" their souls and bellies by tiickname. There was the Cold Weather Fairy, Oblong Head, In- letman, Imitation Amishman and Doublewide. Over the next ten years hun- dreds of different seaside silly people have risked life and short- ening limbs for the thrill of endor- phine overdose while also getting their names in a weekly sports column. The status attained from being a Lewes Polar Bear was of- ten manifest at happy hours and winter parties as: "What are you? A freaking lunatic?" The only requirement for be- coming a bear is to come and jump in the ocean while wearing only a bathing suit. Booties may be shaken but not worn on the feet. No sweat pants or surfer vests. Surfer lingo is permitted. of Pfunny Porpi. Our youngest member is five and the oldest is ' 76. There is a nucleus of Golden Bears in the group who freely pass on their 10 percent liquor store discounts to big burly people who pull them out of frozen rip tides. Drinking before plunging is frowned upon, but "Blessed are the frowned upon for they shall inherit the girth."(Beatitude joke book.) Delaware Special Olympics is the only organization that the Lewes Bears would ever allow to dovetail or piggyback onto a plunge. It's just too painful. But we love the Special Olympians and it's for a great cause, and lots of State Police participate, which may keep us out of traffic court. Join us on Sunday, February 5 at 1 p.m., on the beach in front of "This water is awesomely freak- the Cape Henlopen State Park ing cold, dudes!" bath house, for a microbiological : gush rush, as warm blood exits the There are no dues and' no mere-  extremities and rushes to protect bership cards. And no free T- the body's trunk where all the fa- shirts to visiting New Cotton vorite organs are stored. Remem- Docker Yupsters so they ear tack bet Dave "Baby" Cortez and his and all-wbeel drive back home hit song, "The Happy Organ?" He telling their buddies over cappuci- wrote it after polar bearing. no or a pair of chinos, "Lewes is The above piece was first writ- so quaint." ten for the Delaware Special Quaint we ain't. The Lewes Olympics News Letter. STEELE'S GUN SHOP MOD VAQUERO CAI - 414 - IN THE MIDWAY VILLAGE SHOPS 645-8350 FAX 644-2066 HOURS: Weekdays: 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Sat. 10 a.m.-5p.m. 8 7:10 pm.-9 pro. Evenings- 7:tO p.m, - { Sunday 12 noon-5 pm, Let's Get Down TO Btlsiness At County Bank it's our business to make sure your business checking is hassle free. And we're taking care of business every day by offering you: No analysis fees No fees for deposits or withdrawals With a minimum of $1,000 there is no monthly servicecharge ...... account If your balance falls below $1,000 there is a $5 per month service charge 100 free checks per month Along with friendly, professional, and personalized service, County Bank is the best place for you business banking needs. IX/ tlkfll