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February 18, 2011

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Cape Gazette FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18 - MONDAY, FEBRUARY21, 2011 109 By Leah Hoenen contact them. Carter said the best thing for a student who is in a violent or When are text messages too frightening relationship is to turn many? When does checking up to parents or school counselors ona significant other become for help and advice. stalking? Wh, 's tile best way to Carter told classmates dating get out of a bad relationship? violence can have serious effects Cape Henlopen High School on physical and mental health. seniors tacked those questions She showed images of a young and more about dating violence woman whose boyfriend shot this week. Clad in purple T- her in the face and killed her shirts reading "Love is Not mother. Abuse," the students visited "You see domestic violence all classrooms Monday, Feb. 14, to the time," she said, showing a highlight Domestic Violence dip of a man on the television Month, including a presentation show "jersey Shore" punching a from students in Linda MarvePs woman in the faee. Childcare 3 class'that was part of not OK. No matter where a project on domestic violence, it is or who's doing it, it's not OK, The students told their class- and it's not funny," Carter said. mates no physical or emotional Carter said violence' and ha- abuse is acceptable, that comput- rassment move in cycles. "The ers and cell phones can enable violence stops, then starts again. abusers to exert more control There's a pattern of abuse used over their victims, and that any- to control someone," she said. one in a violent, abusive relation- Student Shyla LaCroix told ship should turn to a trusted classmates, '!That doesn't mean adult for help getting out. the first instance isn't violence. Senior Daphne Carter said dat- It starts with tension building up ing violence is behavior includ- between partners, then there's a ing threats or physical, sexual or honeymoon phase." verbal abuse that one person us- Guidance counselor Terry Sut- es to control another, ton coordinates the high school's Cell phones can help abusers positive-behavior support pro- exert control over their victims, gram, which includes a monthly she said. Seemingly endless text lesson for all students. Marvel's mdssages and phone calls can be students taught the February an- a form of abuse, she told her ti-violence lesson. classmates. Carter said it's best Sutton said abusers apologize to not respond to harassing text and make excuses for their be- messages, havior. "There will always be "The phone company can drama with these people. They block up to 10 numbers from never will take responsibility for calling your phone," she said. their actions," she said. It's also important to make "If it starts at your age, it be- sure parents or other trusted comes your normal. If you have adults know where students are been abused by anyone, you have all the time, she said, and how to a better chance to get into anoth- er abusive relationship," Sutton said. "You can break it, but ;ou have to become aware." Carter and LaCroix showed students a website, thatsnot-, which offers informa- tion about dating violence and harassment. It includes a game aimed at teaching people how to properly respond to text-mes- sage requests for inappropriate images. The site's suggested responses are sarcastic and funny, but Carter and LaCroix cautioned their peers that when it comes to sexting, they need to take this ad- vice seriously. Carter said a girl in her eighth- grade class sent a photo of her- self to a boy. "The whole school had it the next day. She had to switch schools, it was so bad," Carter told the class. LaCroix said people send those images to their boyfriends and girlfriends, and Carter said when relationships sour, sending those messages can be a way to exact revenge. Sutton said another person might pick up a phone, fred the images, and send them to others. LaCroix said peer pressure and alcohol can also be factors. Sutton said sexting can also lead to other things. "Once you've been cyber intimate with each other, that person may think they have a right to be dif- ferent with you in person," she said. Carter said students must also be careful about what they put online. "You can never fully erase something offthe internet," she said. "These companies take constant minipics of what you're doing. They take pictures and save them on their own websites, uncomfortable in. It's always there - it's never going Carter said she got the idea to go away." the project from the "Dr. Phil Sutton said images erasedshow. "There are a lot of people from a cell phone can be recov- on there our age with very con- ered in minutes. She told stu- trolling significant others. I dents prospective employers thought it was a good idea to put would look online to find out in- it out there," she said. formation about them when they The students made a display in try to get jobs, another reason to the high school with several col- be careful what kinds of photos ored T-shirts, each representing go online, kinds of violence faced by Sutton told students dating vi- women in bad relationships. It olence is not restricted to the also includes a table with an realm of pop culture. She said it empty chair. happens every day, even to stu- "If a mother dies because of dents in their high school. She domestic violence, this shows said she hears from many stu- how empty her house can be. d nts who are-unsure how to get She left behind her kids and her out of relationships that they are home," LaCroix said. Cape Henlopen High School students Daphne Carter, front, and Shyta LaCroix ex- plain to their classmates why some people stay in abusive relationships. Their dis- cussion was part of a lesson their Childhood 3 class put on for the entire school about domestic violence, Below, Cape Henlopen High School students who taught a lesson on domestic violence wore shirts that read "Love is Not Abuse" and "Let Your Heart Rule." LEAH HOENEN PHOTOS CAPE HENLOPEN HIGH SCHOOL Childhood 3 students discussed dating violence with their peers Monday, Feb. 14, in hon- or of Domestic Violence Month. They also created a display recognizing the different kinds of abuse women face in bad rela- tionships. The display included a table with an empty chair in honor of women killed as a result of abuse. Shown by their dis- play are (I-r) Diondra Daisey, Courtney Gibbs, ShyMLaCroix, Janad Taylor, Taylor Harris, Daphne Carter, Jazmen Savage and Alonda Davis.