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Lewes, Delaware
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September 1, 2006     Cape Gazette
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September 1, 2006

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118 - CAPE GAZETTE - Friday, September I - Monday, September 4, 2006 _. Wedding money would be better spent on counseling Q: My daughter got pregnant, quit school and lives with the father of the child. The child is now 3 years old. My daughter and her boyfriend went to the Justice of the Peace and got married last week. My daughter has now informed us that she wants a big wedding with all the fixins' to cel- ebrate their 'big-day'. What should I do? A; Fixins'??? 'Informed'? Are you kiddin' me? It seems that the money would be better spent on counseling to 'fix' her decision making capabilities and a high school diploma rather than a 'big- day'. Your daughters 'big-day' was had 3 years ago. I commend her on making the decision to get married to the child's father but, any money that would be spent on a 'big-day' should come out of your daughter's pocket. A nice gift and a quiet celebration would be more appropriate. Q: My husband and I are hav- ing a disagreement on how to eat bread. Do you butter the whole roll and take bites off the roll? He insists on stuffing more bread than will fit in his mouth. What is the right way? A: The right way to eat bread is to break a small piece off the roll, butter it over the butter dish, not in the air and pop it in your mouth. Keep doing this until the roll is finished. No need to look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy when eating bread. Remember, no one will snatch your food from you. After all, we live in America, and we throw away more than we use. Q: My husband and I have a large group of friends and we meet every week for some fun. Maybe dinner or drinks, it's dif- ferent every week. One of our male friends insists on kissing me on the lips when he sees me. He is also married. What do you think of this? A: Well, you would not have brought it up unless you were uncomfortable or have some dis- turbing thoughts on it. You are in control and it is you who deter- mines how interactions will unfold. If you are uncomfortable then move your head so that he kisses near your ear. The best thing to do is tell him that you are not comfortable with the greeting. Weird things can happen when everyone has been drinking. Set it straight how you wish to be treated. I have never read an eti- quette book that requires you to kiss anyone. Q: I have been invited to three showers for my girlfriend and I am also in her wedding. 1 do not have a job that pays a lot of money. How many gifts do I need to buy? A: The expense of being in a wedding is high. You have-the dress, a shower to give, hair, man- icure, shoes, wedding gift. how you hold a fork. If time does not allow for a formal class...go to the public library for a book on Etiquette. There are hundreds. Read as much as you can on the subject for the dinner itself and then take a class on honing your dining skills. When you know better, you do better and you feel better about yourself. Whew! You may need a second job. I am assuming that the bride is a close friend and you should be able to tell a close friend that you have limited resources. I'm sure you would like to get her something special, one thing she really wants. Ask her what that is. If she really is a friend, just hav- ing you there is more than enough. You should attend each shower, but buy only one, well thought-out gift for the shower and one for the wedding that both the bride and groom will share. A Waterford Frame for their wed- ding picture is a reasonable price and a keepsake. Q: On what side of my jacket do I wear my nametag ? A: Always on the right side. Even left-handed people shake with their right hand. It will be easier for the person to follow the line directly up your arm to the nametag. Q: l have been invited to a for- mal dinner and I am unsure of the proper table manners. I don't want to embarrass myself by not knowing what to do. What do you suggest? A: If you have time before the event, take a class that will pro- vide you with the knowledge and skill that you need in order to feel confident with your dining skills. Good dining skills are more than Q: I have been invited to a cocktail party that I really don't want to go to, but have to. How long do I need to spend in order not to seem rude? A" Thirty minutes to one hour is usually enough. To speed up the process: When you enter the room, move to the right and scan the room for the host/hostess. Use that same time to see who else may be important that you should address. Approach your host/hostess and say hello and in the conversation say that you have another engagement this evening and will not be able to stay very long,: You are not required to go into a song and dance as to why you cannot stay, especially, if it is not the truth. Lies are hard to remember and you may get caught. It is worse than getting caught re-gifting. Acquire a drink of some sort (it looks like you are participating and relaxed with a glass in your hand). Move through the room and greet the people who are important to you and have a short conversation with them. (A short conversation; NOT your life story and recent bladder operation.) Return to your host/hostess and thank them for the invitation and tell them the party was wonderful, etc. You may now leave. Your work is not done by a long-shot though. You must send a written thank-you note to the host/host- ess. Not an email or a phone call. Send a written thank-you note within 48 hours of the cocktail party. Now, you are done. You may even be asked to another cocktail party you don't want to attend. What fun! D :MOLITION! -Houses -Chicken Houses - Cleari Morris E. Justice, Inc. clrld $UPERCLIAN LLC. (302) 539-7731 (302) 539-9554 (fax) Q: I was asked out on a date recently and the guy did not open the car door for me? Do I just open my own door? A" No, do not open your own door. Stand there until he under- stands that he should open the door for you. And not from the inside of the car either. Uncomfortable? You bet! Get some rules and stick to them. People will treat you the way you show them you want to be treated. If the guy is that backward, then you should consider a lifetime of being treated like a convenience, than the special person you are. Maribeth Evans is owner and director of The Delaware School of Protocol in Milton. Trained at the Washington School of Protocol, Evans invites questions on manners and etiquette from readers at (formerly Lewes Barber Shop) $2 OFF HAIR CUT with this ad ADULTS $15 SENIORS $13 KIDS $12 Expires 10/t/06 OPEN Debbie Hayat MON. - SAT. 8-5 124 W. 3" St.(rear), Lewes 645-7403 Ocean View Family Medicine Emelou C. 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