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November 27, 1998     Cape Gazette
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November 27, 1998

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g r - 8001 , ladm-atl - ? "tdi-to-,o ',.b?zq ,,'ITTTtXAD Xq/.O 12 - CAPE GAZETTE, Friday, November 27 - December 3, 1998 Brown Continued from page 10 that the community showed Brown said she felt guilty and confused when she learned that her sister had suffered in a violent relationship, and despite how close the two women were to each other, Nicole Brown never confid- marked reductions in domestic vi- ed in her sister. olence calls the first year the pro- ...... I was the first to say 'No, gram was in force. "These stick- ers have literally saved lives," said Brown. "They make people no- tice and they make people talk. They help to end the silence." Brown said that silence on the issue is one of the most notable reasons the problem has been. able to escalate. Victims often don't share their experiences with other people. "It's difficult to be brave when you're scared, and it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when your eyes are swollen shut," said Brown. Violence Continued from page 10 dieted to etetaslon and release that occur in the first phase and the second phase. The third phase of the cycle is the contrition phase, when the bat- terer promises never to be abusive again and appears genuinely re- morseful for the incident. "It dupes all of us," said DeSha- zor. Victims "believe them be- cause they are believable. Some people are very, very skilled at [being convincing]." Some batterers will even enlist assistance from others in making their cases. They especially will attempt to enlist assistance from children. Often, the victims con- cede and believe the batterers. "We know it doesn't last," said DeShazor. "Men generally don't stop being violent." Control is the issue Abusers come from all walks of life, as was clear when a profes- sional man killed his wife, his two children and the nanny. DeShazor said the case was dubbed "sponta- neous domestic," because it did not appear the abuser had the situ- ation well planned out, and there wasn't a history of prior domestic incidents. The man, who listened to an an- swering machine message that led him to believe his wife was being unfaithful, stabbed his wife nu- merous times, with one stab in the heart. His toddler and baby also were stabbed several times, and each had one puncture in the heart. Medical examiners deter- mined that the babies had defense wounds, too. The nanny was also stabbed to death. "Criminally, he was not sophis- ticated," said DeShazor. After the massacre, the man took poison, but when he didn't die, committed suicide via a vehicular accident. When police went to his home to tell his family of his death, they found only dead bodies. "These guys are walking; they're checking," said DeShazor. The batterers are seeking confir- mation of the "self-talk," or obses- Nicole was not a battered woman.' I learned about it too late, and I learned about it from Nicole," she said. "My sister was a typical, battered woman," she said.."Nicole was a woman with a huge heart. She would do any- thing for her children - including staying with her husband and leaving her husband." Brown said that people need to take active roles in their commu- nities and work toward enacting new, more protective laws. "Please don't think there is noth- ing we can do. We've been quiet sive thoughts of blame, bad feel- ings and shame. "This was a tragic, tragic situa- tion," he said. The babies were killed, for example, "because he didn't want them to live without him. All these cases are the same - it's always control." In an emergency, victims in Sussex County should call 911. In nonemergency situations the fol- lowing resources are available for victims: Delaware State Police Victim Services, 800-842-8461; domestic violence hotline, 422- 8058; Rape Crisis Contact, 800- 262-9800; Mobile Crisis Unit, 800-345-6785; and emergency shelter, 422-8058. For treatment, counseling or le- gal help, the following resources are available: People's Place Treatment Unit, 424-2420; Delaware Department of Justice, 856-5352; Family Court, 856- 5254 and legal .services, 856- 0038. Sen. Biden nominates Cape students Sen. Joe Biden announced 1999 nominations to U.S. service acad- emies. Two Cape Henlopen High School students, James E. Car- penter and John Lynch, Cape se- niors, will be offered appoint- ments to the Merchant Marine Academy. To complete the acceptance process, the two must now meet all medical, physical and academ- ic requirements of the academy that is located in Kings Point, N.Y. Cape student Jamie R. Day- ton is an alternate for Biden's nomination to the Military Acade- my in West Point, and Julie T. Jackson, also a Cape student, is an alternate nominee to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. Biden said that the applicants went through an intensive review process of qualified high school seniors. Each year, he convenes an academy selection board that interviews all service academy applicants and provides him with recommendations. The board in- cludes representation from each county. far too long," said Brown. For example, she said, commu- nity watch programs can include domestic violence on their check- lists. Those keeping patroi may report incidents they hear or see to the police. If neighbors are reluc- tant to get involved, they can use a neighborhood point person, whom they can call and who will for- ward information to police. Judges who ignore domestic vi- olence history when making cus- tody decisions should be publicly taken to task, she said. Addition- ally, people can ask legislators to enact laws that will eliminate. judges having options to give cus- tody to parents with violent histo- ries. Health-care laws must also be examined, she said. In some states, if women call 911 for help in domestic violence incidents, they can be denied health insur- against anyone." The problem be- ance. "Men have to stand up ahd longs to all of society, she said, say, 'This is not acceptable,' "she and all of society must work to- said. "This is not about anyone gether to correct it. USA-CHINA-VIETNAM EASTERN EUROPE Adoptions From The Heart can help create the family you've always wanted. We offer adoptions from within the USA, Vietnam, China and E&stcm Europe. We have placed 1,369 babies in loving homes sinc 1985. Please attend out next free informational meeting! Call (302) 658-8883 to register. Abora00s Y-ro00'rbe Heart GIFT CERTIFICATES FOR ONLY $75! 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